The train is rolling to a stop. I take a deep breath. I’m about to be horribly murdered.
Trans Pennine Trail: The Long, Winding Goodbye
It’s midnight, and I’m looking up at a signpost. The best way to see England is on foot. (The second best way? Ask Sustrans). It’s a country designed to fit your feet, whether via the National Trail network or by those enticing mystery dashed lines you see winding their way into the trees at the fringes of your Ordnance Survey … Read More
Dead Air Under London
London breathes on my back. Around me, shirts billow, dresses flare and hats are clutched, as the stuffy, tasteless air roars past us in search of somewhere to dump its heat. Behind me, the mournful screee of an Underground Tube train – and around me, a subterranean London that is far from solid. Imagine laying a cross-section across the city, … Read More
Mistakes: Make Them.
If at first you don’t succeed..you might be onto something here. For a long while, my ability to attract misadventure and fall flat on my face whenever enough ground presented itself…well, it haunted me. Other people seemed to glide as if well-oiled through the machinations of society. I rattled, clunked and occasionally jammed. In 1995 I went on my first archaeological … Read More
Travel Technology: It’s What It *Does*, Stupid
What stuff do you need to go travelling? Let’s pretend we’re back at school, and that’s an essay question. What are we trained to do? Break down. (The question, I mean). We disassemble into its component concepts, in search of the tricksiest. And what’s the troublesome word here? Need. I have a real problem with that word – because I’m … Read More
Mongol Rally 2011: The Festival Of Slow (Clothing Optional)
The ambulance picks up speed. “I’m really sorry!” shouts the bleached-haired man in the doorway as I fight to click in my seat-belt. “WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR….” “I said I’m really sorry – I’M ABOUT TO GET NAKED!” I laugh dutifully. Well, they’re adventurers, not comedians, and however in-jokey or lame their attempts at humour are, I’m their guest. I … Read More
Mongol Rally 2011: A Few Myths Busted
Let’s say you bumped into me in the street a month ago, and asked me about the Mongol Rally. I’m ashamed to say I’d have sounded like a misinformed idiot. A Few Idiotic Myths About The Mongol Rally 1. It’s some kind of race, right? (To Mongolia? Duh). 2. It’s some kind of holiday. (Probably involving lots of good food … Read More
Mongol Rally 2011: You’re Doing *What*?
It is described as “the greatest adventure in the world”. It’s 10,000 miles in vehicles powered by engines not exceeding 1,200cc and often chosen more for their novelty value that their long-distance roadworthiness – like ambulances (see above). It’s delightful, eccentric, incredibly brave, thrillingly intrepid…and thoroughly bonkers. There is nothing like staring down the bonnet of a Nissan Micra at … Read More