I’m sat listening to a speaker at Travel Blog Camp, becoming increasingly irate.
I’m wandering round World Travel Market, fruitlessly trying to make sense of it all.
In each case, there’s a part of my mind grappling with the problem I haven’t solved since I quit my dayjob in April. A problem that’s a variation of something I’ve struggled with for the last 20 years.
Um…what am I doing here?
Since April, I’ve learned that there are many ways to make a living if you have an internet connection. Some of them are exciting, some are depressing (ie. purely for the money), and others only have a fleeting chance of becoming something worthwhile if you’re prepared to give them a go, by way of initially working for free.
If you can handle massive amounts of uncertainty and if you can pluck up the courage to put your work out there, you can almost certainly find some way to pay the bills eventually. I’m still finding this incredible. My twenties were all about finding work that was relatively nearby and not being choosy about what that work was. Now I have a metal and plastic box with a glowing screen that magically communicates with all corners of the globe, and my employers, living in different countries, pay me through this box.
Boxes are amazing these days.
Note: I’m also working a hell of a lot harder than I was in my twenties. So much for my dreams of becoming a well-financed slacker.
I’m sat in Travel Blog Camp, listening to Matthew Teller give his speech about the importance of quality writing & storytelling. I’m annoyed at his tone, but I agree with one point in particular: the need to choose what you’re best at.
Unless you’re really, really lucky, the only way to become really good at something is to do it until you’re on the verge of a breakdown, and then to have that breakdown, and then pick up the pieces and keep going (towards your next breakdown).
The people who are amazing at something have put in amazing hours, stupid hours, fanatical hours at it, and they’ve hit the wall enough times for the wall to fit them like a glove. Almost all of the time, success is about doing your thing until it fully becomes who you are, and until the world gets tired of pelting you with rejection and misfortune and just says “Yeah, OKAY, just…just TAKE IT, whatever“.
And getting to that point requires effort, but above all it requires choice. Choosing isn’t easy – especially if you’re a ditherer like I am. I’ve spent 2 years watching people doing a bazillion different things, and a surprising amount of those things have worked out for those people. This has led to me suffering a dilemma of choice. Do I want to follow this definition of a professional travel blogger? Well, yes and no. Do I want to be a travel journalist, pitching & writing for other people all the time? Well, kinda. Do I want to write that spoof scifi novel where the world is plunged into darkness and the only reliable source of post-apocalypse energy comes from meringue? (Book 1: Meringue Dawn. Tell your friends). Yes, I do, but not really or, for the sake of my reputation, at all. I have lots of passion projects that I could kickstart and roar wildly away on. I am not short on ideas. That’s not the problem here.
A few weeks back I wrote down everything I’ve done since April. and it’s scattershot. It’s worked – ie. I have not yet starved to death, which in freelance circles is something of a win – but it’s a whole heap of stuff flying in all sorts of directions. And looking over how wayward my moneymaking methods were, I realised that I needed to treat my job like my possessions: I needed to streamline, to focus and to keep only the stuff that will be useful in the long term.
So here was my plan:
1) Write for freelance publications, to pay the bills.
2) Write serialized fiction for Kindle, following the good example of these guys, and using Scrivener, as Christine recommends here. (I’ve been doing this for months, but I’ve allowed myself to get distracted by more direct income-making far, far too often).
3) Build up my storytelling consultancy work. (You read this, right?)
4) Write in this ‘ere blog.
5) Toughen up my singing voice and work on my guitar playing. (This is a side of me you don’t know about, and won’t until I’m completely ready).
And that was my shortlist. *Bam*. Everything else was relegated to “when I have time”, which is a modern synonym for “probably never”.
So, that was looking really good, and I felt comfortable that although it would be a long haul turning this into a decently profitable lifestyle that would allow me to travel and work location-independently, I was in it for the long haul. I chose this life, and I wanted it to become Who I Am.
And then suddenly I was joining the editorial team at WordPress.com as a trial Story Wrangler, as of this Tuesday.
(Yep. My plans have a habit of doing this).
What does this mean right now? Well, it means I’ll be squeezing my shortlist into my free time, and for the rest of my day I’m working (virtually) alongside amazing people, curating some of the quality blogging happening on the millions of blogs at WordPress.com, plus doing other absurdly fun-sounding things if they’ll let me.
So what am I doing here?
You know, I think I’m starting to find out.
Image: Mike Sowden